decide

this and that, that and this to leap into action, to wait and see what to eat, who to marry if i could split myself into a thousand dimensions so that i could walk in every direction that you want me to follow i would, i would but i can only walk one path and i'm trying to listen to my own footsteps under the heat of your frustration please be patient with me just a little bit longer

#poetry

sometimes, i remember to breathe and find myself having slipped out of my body now i am a ghost, knocking on the door asking to be let back inside and with a long stretch, i slip in and i am me again

#poetry

let me sleep early, earlier than you i switch off the light and turn away from you i'm not as tired as i said i was but let me sleep early all the same

let me detach from this world and the person i was today and the person i was yesterday and the shame i feel for saying all the wrong things and not saying enough of the right for loving some one i shouldn't have and missing them still after everything i ruined

his mother should hate me maybe all mothers should maybe yours will some day

but if i sleep, perhaps i can be somebody else indistinguishable in the darkness lost in the silence just until i wake up again and my guilt finds me once more

so i will sleep early tonight good night

#poetry

i've been rowing upriver for so long it's just me and the river locked in conflict i fight the quiet current and i stay away from the shore feeling too foreign for this world

i know nothing but the oars in my hands i don't know how they live this life over there all i've ever known is to fight to survive and not drown

i stop and realise the current has stilled setting me adrift

#poetry